....Who Are Bored Beyond Belief to do: (from lotsofjokes.com)
1. Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at a time.
2. Use your MasterCard to pay your Visa and vice-versa.
3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
4. When someone says "have a nice day", tell them you have other plans.
5. Make a list of things to do that you have already done.
6. Fill out your tax form using Roman Numerals.
7. Leaf through "National Geographic" and draw underwear on the natives.
8. Tattoo "Out to Lunch" on your forehead.
9. Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
10. Pay your electric bill in pennies.
11. Drive to work in reverse.
12. Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.
13. Tell you boss to "blow it out your mule" and let him figure it out.
14. Polish your car with earwax.
15. Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.
16. Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.
17. Braid the hairs in each nostril.
18. Write a short story using alphabet soup.
19.Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they're in jail.
20. Make up a language and ask people for directions in it.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Questions: 7th Installment
The next two months were a nightmare. Sure, Nannoc went to visit Lily every day, and that part was great. Orchestrating Lily's escape from the People, on the other hand, wasn't as easy as Nannoc had thought it was going to be. First of all, Lily didn't look like the People; she was much tanner and had long, bright red hair. The People were all pale with dark-colored hair. Of course, the way she looked could be covered up by disguising her in the black robes and trousers of the People. The problem with that plan was that she would never be able to move in the graceful, smooth gait that the People used. That was something developed from years of practice in hunting, not to mention the fact that Lily had been tied up for so long. The other problem was that Lily could never sound like one of the People, for they rarely spoke English amongst themselves. Their language was so complex that even Nannoc was still learning the intricacies. Though all their plans remained thwarted, they still refused to give up hope.
For all of that two months, Nannoc finished his chores as quickly as he could in the morning and then headed straight to the nursery. He loved to listen to Lily's descriptions of how the Outsiders lived; their lives were so different! Lily seemed fascinated by his accounts of the People's way of life, though it didn't seem all that interesting to him. Oh well. As long as she liked listening, he would keep telling. They had both made an unspoken agreement that talking about what was soon to come was an unacceptable topic unless there was some even remote possibility of making an idea work. So they didn't talk about it much at all.
The People were becoming more and more excited as time went by. Soon the date would come when the Elder would make the announcement as to who the Cutter would be, and everyone had already pegged Nannoc as winning that honor. The day after that, the actual Inititation Ceremony would be held. Ten days away. Ten days to finialize a hopeless escape plan.
For now Nannoc had realized that he didn't belong with the People. All it took was another talk with Elliott. With one pompous reply after another, Nannoc knew that he and Elliott would never again be friends, if they ever had been in the first place. He had even tried talking to Aaron and his other roommates, but that had been just as fruitless, with just as much cockiness. How could he ever have been one of these people? They were so shallow, so superficial. He required something much deeper; Nannoc craved relationships and the freedom to express emotions besides anger. He wanted to live out his life like the Outsiders did, though he would never admit this to anyone but Lily. She was the only one he could stand anymore. He just hoped that no one would ever figure out that he spent most of his time in the nursery.
That was where he was now. He was lying on his back, with his eyes closed, listening to Lily tell a fairy tale that she remembered from her childhood. Nannoc had only recently discovered fairy tales and was addicted. At first he had been completely confused; he had thought they were true, that people had actually done that stuff. It wasn't until Lily explained it that he realized it was all make-believe. Which was different for him. The People never told stories, let alone make them up for entertainment.
The fairy tale she was in the middle of right now was about a naughty yet clever little boy who was apparently only the size of Nannoc's thumb. He had been dubious at first, but then remembered that, yes, this was pretending. It was going to take him a while to get used to that concept. Listening to Lily tell the story was very entertaining, because she changed her voice depending on which character she was supposed to be. He smiled. She was really funny, and, now that he thought about it, she was actually really pretty too.
"What are you smiling at?" He could hear the smile through the fake indignance in her voice.
He rolled over and propped his face on his hands so he could see her. "You," he answered.
"That's not very nice! Now I'm gonna cry." She hid her face in her hands and started to fake cry. If he hadn't known it was fake, he would have been convinced.
"Awww, did I make you cry?" He crawled over to where she was sitting. "How can I make it better?"
"I don't know. I don't know if I can ever forgive you." She pulled her hands away from her face, revealing her fake pout.
"There must be something I can do to make you forgive me!"
"Well, I suppose there is one thing. You could give me a kiss." Nannoc looked at her, perplexed. He had never heard of such a thing. What did it mean?
"You don't know what a kiss is?!" Lily seemed very surprised.
"No. Should I have?"
"Actually, no, now that I think about it. It's an action that supposed to show affection between a boy and girl. Since you don't have those kind of relationships, I guess it makes sense."
"Okay. But I still don't know what it is." He still didn't completely understand. Was it like the hand squeeze thing?
"I guess I'll just have to show you."
"Huh?" But before Nannoc could ask what she meant by that, she had flung her arms around him. He wasn't particularly sure he liked having someone so close to him, but he supposed Lily was okay. Then she pressed her lips to his. He was so surprised, he fell over backwards, pulling Lily over with him. She ended up on her back, lying next to him.
"That's a kiss?" He turned to look at her.
"Yup."
"Well," he said, shifting onto his stomach, "I think I liked it." This time, he kissed her.
(Yeah, still not sure I like it, but here it is)
For all of that two months, Nannoc finished his chores as quickly as he could in the morning and then headed straight to the nursery. He loved to listen to Lily's descriptions of how the Outsiders lived; their lives were so different! Lily seemed fascinated by his accounts of the People's way of life, though it didn't seem all that interesting to him. Oh well. As long as she liked listening, he would keep telling. They had both made an unspoken agreement that talking about what was soon to come was an unacceptable topic unless there was some even remote possibility of making an idea work. So they didn't talk about it much at all.
The People were becoming more and more excited as time went by. Soon the date would come when the Elder would make the announcement as to who the Cutter would be, and everyone had already pegged Nannoc as winning that honor. The day after that, the actual Inititation Ceremony would be held. Ten days away. Ten days to finialize a hopeless escape plan.
For now Nannoc had realized that he didn't belong with the People. All it took was another talk with Elliott. With one pompous reply after another, Nannoc knew that he and Elliott would never again be friends, if they ever had been in the first place. He had even tried talking to Aaron and his other roommates, but that had been just as fruitless, with just as much cockiness. How could he ever have been one of these people? They were so shallow, so superficial. He required something much deeper; Nannoc craved relationships and the freedom to express emotions besides anger. He wanted to live out his life like the Outsiders did, though he would never admit this to anyone but Lily. She was the only one he could stand anymore. He just hoped that no one would ever figure out that he spent most of his time in the nursery.
That was where he was now. He was lying on his back, with his eyes closed, listening to Lily tell a fairy tale that she remembered from her childhood. Nannoc had only recently discovered fairy tales and was addicted. At first he had been completely confused; he had thought they were true, that people had actually done that stuff. It wasn't until Lily explained it that he realized it was all make-believe. Which was different for him. The People never told stories, let alone make them up for entertainment.
The fairy tale she was in the middle of right now was about a naughty yet clever little boy who was apparently only the size of Nannoc's thumb. He had been dubious at first, but then remembered that, yes, this was pretending. It was going to take him a while to get used to that concept. Listening to Lily tell the story was very entertaining, because she changed her voice depending on which character she was supposed to be. He smiled. She was really funny, and, now that he thought about it, she was actually really pretty too.
"What are you smiling at?" He could hear the smile through the fake indignance in her voice.
He rolled over and propped his face on his hands so he could see her. "You," he answered.
"That's not very nice! Now I'm gonna cry." She hid her face in her hands and started to fake cry. If he hadn't known it was fake, he would have been convinced.
"Awww, did I make you cry?" He crawled over to where she was sitting. "How can I make it better?"
"I don't know. I don't know if I can ever forgive you." She pulled her hands away from her face, revealing her fake pout.
"There must be something I can do to make you forgive me!"
"Well, I suppose there is one thing. You could give me a kiss." Nannoc looked at her, perplexed. He had never heard of such a thing. What did it mean?
"You don't know what a kiss is?!" Lily seemed very surprised.
"No. Should I have?"
"Actually, no, now that I think about it. It's an action that supposed to show affection between a boy and girl. Since you don't have those kind of relationships, I guess it makes sense."
"Okay. But I still don't know what it is." He still didn't completely understand. Was it like the hand squeeze thing?
"I guess I'll just have to show you."
"Huh?" But before Nannoc could ask what she meant by that, she had flung her arms around him. He wasn't particularly sure he liked having someone so close to him, but he supposed Lily was okay. Then she pressed her lips to his. He was so surprised, he fell over backwards, pulling Lily over with him. She ended up on her back, lying next to him.
"That's a kiss?" He turned to look at her.
"Yup."
"Well," he said, shifting onto his stomach, "I think I liked it." This time, he kissed her.
(Yeah, still not sure I like it, but here it is)
Questions Info
Sorry to the people who've been waiting for the rest of Questions. I wrote part 7 and most of part 8 over vacation and was planning on typing it up recently. Problem: now I hate what I wrote. So as soon as I get around to rewriting it is when part 7, 8, and maybe a part 9 will go up.
Friday, August 26, 2011
College
First week of classes = DONE! I must say, I was pretty nervouse when I went to the first of each of my classes, but that's completely gone now. It's going to prove to be an interesting semester.
First class of the week is Bio at 9am. Pontasch is very good at teaching his subject. He knows exactly what he's talking about, and he likes to make jokes to keep us interested. Sometimes he's not necessarily trying to tell a joke, but the way he says something is just funny. Like today, when he was describing evolution in DDT-resistant flies. "At first the Iowan farmers used manure from their animals to fertilize their fields, and flies love to live in shit." It caught us all completely by surprise, so it was funny. He also says that while we're in the classroom, we should call him Dr. Pontasch, Doc, Dr. P, but out of the class we can call him asshole for all he cares. XD
Second class of the week is Oral Communications at 12pm. If you didn't already know, Oral Communications is just a fancy way of saying that it's Speech class. Our teacher is pretty funny here too. She likes to be called by her first name, Amandajean, instead of by her last. She also talks a lot and talks really fast. She's actually just the kind of person I expected to be teaching a class on public speaking.
Third class is Marching Band at 6:30pm. Generally we rehearse in the Dome, but right now we're practicing outside to get used to the feeling before the ISU game next week. For those of us who just came in from high school, this isn't a big deal, but most of the vets haven't played outside since...high school. So they're in need of some practice. Something funny I realized when playing outside the other day: I can play louder and longer outside than inside. (while marching. Obviously when playing concert I can play for a longer time.) It's kinda random, but whatever. I guess I'm just cool like that.
Fourth class of the week is Religions of the World at 8am Tuesday morning. Burnight is pretty cool, and the content is really interesting. I've learned that there's an Egyptian creation myth where the first god, Atum, walks up and decides that he wants kids. But he's the only one there. So apparently he masturbates out his two daughter gods, Shu and Tefnut. o.O
Fifth class is Humanities. This might be my least favorite class, but I'm not quite sure. It's still fun and Prahl makes plenty of jokes, but this one is definitely a purely lecture-type class. It has to be with as many of us are in there. The rest of my classes are lectures, but they're not really more than about 50 per class. Oral Comm has about 15. But it'll be all good because I love history. :)
So, that basically sums up the first week of college. This weekend my boyfriend is coming up to visit, my roommate is going to go to a wedding, and next weekend is the first football game of the season. So, I'll write again soon.
First class of the week is Bio at 9am. Pontasch is very good at teaching his subject. He knows exactly what he's talking about, and he likes to make jokes to keep us interested. Sometimes he's not necessarily trying to tell a joke, but the way he says something is just funny. Like today, when he was describing evolution in DDT-resistant flies. "At first the Iowan farmers used manure from their animals to fertilize their fields, and flies love to live in shit." It caught us all completely by surprise, so it was funny. He also says that while we're in the classroom, we should call him Dr. Pontasch, Doc, Dr. P, but out of the class we can call him asshole for all he cares. XD
Second class of the week is Oral Communications at 12pm. If you didn't already know, Oral Communications is just a fancy way of saying that it's Speech class. Our teacher is pretty funny here too. She likes to be called by her first name, Amandajean, instead of by her last. She also talks a lot and talks really fast. She's actually just the kind of person I expected to be teaching a class on public speaking.
Third class is Marching Band at 6:30pm. Generally we rehearse in the Dome, but right now we're practicing outside to get used to the feeling before the ISU game next week. For those of us who just came in from high school, this isn't a big deal, but most of the vets haven't played outside since...high school. So they're in need of some practice. Something funny I realized when playing outside the other day: I can play louder and longer outside than inside. (while marching. Obviously when playing concert I can play for a longer time.) It's kinda random, but whatever. I guess I'm just cool like that.
Fourth class of the week is Religions of the World at 8am Tuesday morning. Burnight is pretty cool, and the content is really interesting. I've learned that there's an Egyptian creation myth where the first god, Atum, walks up and decides that he wants kids. But he's the only one there. So apparently he masturbates out his two daughter gods, Shu and Tefnut. o.O
Fifth class is Humanities. This might be my least favorite class, but I'm not quite sure. It's still fun and Prahl makes plenty of jokes, but this one is definitely a purely lecture-type class. It has to be with as many of us are in there. The rest of my classes are lectures, but they're not really more than about 50 per class. Oral Comm has about 15. But it'll be all good because I love history. :)
So, that basically sums up the first week of college. This weekend my boyfriend is coming up to visit, my roommate is going to go to a wedding, and next weekend is the first football game of the season. So, I'll write again soon.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Ideas
So I want to write something. (Yes, I know I haven't gotten back to Questions for awhile, but I will get on that. Eventually) Anyway, I need ideas cuz I have absolutely no clue what I want to write about. None of the stories in my head want to come out yet.
My point: I need your ideas. Anything. Anything at all. I want to write a short story, I want you to tell me what to write it about. It can merely be an odd list of words you want me to include. I don't care. Just let me know in the comments. Have at it!
My point: I need your ideas. Anything. Anything at all. I want to write a short story, I want you to tell me what to write it about. It can merely be an odd list of words you want me to include. I don't care. Just let me know in the comments. Have at it!
Sunday, August 14, 2011
College
So I'm officially moved into my room at UNI. It was a project that took most of the day. Everyone in my immediate family (who isn't already moved out) came along, except YS1, who had to work at 2. I was excited and nervous at first. Then slowly became more and more nervous. Let me explain.
For the last 18 years of my life, I have never been more than a room away from my family. I've always had people around. Even though I get sick of them all the time, they were still always there for me. But now they're not here. I can't just go to the other room and see YS2 and YB1 harrassing each other. I can't just go downstairs and mess with YS1. I can't just go to the dining room and hang out on the computer, being in with everyone, if not participating with them. Mother and Father aren't just around the corner, waiting to nag me about some chore I've been passively-agressively not doing. It feels as though a part of my life is completely gone. I know they're just a phone call, a text, a Facebook message away, but they're not here. The people who have made up most of my life since I was born aren't here with me any more. A huge chunk of my life is suddenly not there. They just left, and I didn't want them to go. I don't like to be alone.
To anyone who knows me, this might seem like a contradictory statement. I'm almost always in my room or upstairs, hiding/ignoring what's going on around me. I get sucked into a book or my computer and it looks like I'm not involved. But the very essence of myself needs people. I need to isolate myself within people. I need my alone time, surrounded by everyone. That's not the same kind of alone as it is here. Here it's an alone with a roommate that I don't actually know, and that only after a week of living in this dorm room (it's bigger than my own room at home) completely by myself. My best friend, Emi, is going to be half a nation away in Boston. My boyfriend and all the people I know through him are two and a half hours away. Technology is amazing, but it doesn't make up at all for those interpersonal interactions that I need. I know I'll make friends, I know I'll adapt, I'll create a new life. I know those things, but they seem so far away. As far away as my friends, my family, my boyfriend.
For the last 18 years of my life, I have never been more than a room away from my family. I've always had people around. Even though I get sick of them all the time, they were still always there for me. But now they're not here. I can't just go to the other room and see YS2 and YB1 harrassing each other. I can't just go downstairs and mess with YS1. I can't just go to the dining room and hang out on the computer, being in with everyone, if not participating with them. Mother and Father aren't just around the corner, waiting to nag me about some chore I've been passively-agressively not doing. It feels as though a part of my life is completely gone. I know they're just a phone call, a text, a Facebook message away, but they're not here. The people who have made up most of my life since I was born aren't here with me any more. A huge chunk of my life is suddenly not there. They just left, and I didn't want them to go. I don't like to be alone.
To anyone who knows me, this might seem like a contradictory statement. I'm almost always in my room or upstairs, hiding/ignoring what's going on around me. I get sucked into a book or my computer and it looks like I'm not involved. But the very essence of myself needs people. I need to isolate myself within people. I need my alone time, surrounded by everyone. That's not the same kind of alone as it is here. Here it's an alone with a roommate that I don't actually know, and that only after a week of living in this dorm room (it's bigger than my own room at home) completely by myself. My best friend, Emi, is going to be half a nation away in Boston. My boyfriend and all the people I know through him are two and a half hours away. Technology is amazing, but it doesn't make up at all for those interpersonal interactions that I need. I know I'll make friends, I know I'll adapt, I'll create a new life. I know those things, but they seem so far away. As far away as my friends, my family, my boyfriend.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
New Favorite Song
First time I heard this song was on the trip into Virginia with my family. I was really annoyed cuz I never got to hear the name or who sung it. Finally found it, after hearing it about 4 more times, never hearing who sang it or the name. So I guessed. So, here's my (current) favorite song.
Tonight, Tonight, by Hot Chelle Rae
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyKBFnNSVrc
Tonight, Tonight, by Hot Chelle Rae
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyKBFnNSVrc
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
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