Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Preview of a New Short Story

It was a pristine winter night in the valley. Except for the soft hush of the snow gently drifting with the wind as it blew, everything was silent. Pine trees covered in piles of snow stretched across the valley floor until they reached where the mountains sprouted and rose to the sky. Through the center, a river meandered, though it was covered in its customary sheet of ice for the winter. The full moon shone off the snow, making it almost seem as if it were daylight. Then, with a sound like a gunshot, the silent serenity of the valley was broken.

Somewhere along the shore of the river, a large chunk of ice had been broken away, and an odd creature was crawling out of the hole in the ice. He looked humanoid, but he had large, bat-like wings attached just below his shoulder blades, his legs appeared to be more like a raptor’s, and he only had three toes on each foot and three fingers and one thumb on each hand, each ending in a finely pointed claw. His pale skin glowed nearly white in the bright moonlight, hiding the scars and the bruises that covered his body. He was quite slender, bordering on sickly, but still muscular, and was wearing a harness made from strips of leather and chain of iron rings attached to a leather collar. On his left wrist, he wore a bracelet that matched the collar. A black tattoo of some sort of symbol was etched into the skin where his chest met his left shoulder. He shook the water first from his long, bird-like legs, making his harness clink. Then, in two swift downward strokes, he shook the moisture from his wings. After getting as dry as he could, he flew up to the top of one of the pine trees, perching on the highest branch able to support his weight.

He stared at the moon with his icy, pale blue-white eyes, his face blank. He blinked once, then turned his gaze to the quiet, snow-filled valley, watching for be any sign of life. He knew there wouldn’t be any; nothing lived in this valley any more. They were scared of him. More truthfully, they were scared of man who owned him. He absentmindedly stroked the chain that ran down his chest, jumping when he accidentally touched the cool metal to his bare skin. He couldn’t blame them for leaving; the Master was not one you wanted to cross. He shook his head; not something he really wanted to think about right now. Instead he focused on his upraised hand, his elbow perched on his knee, watching as the water slowly dripped down his fingers and claws, freezing on the branch below.

He sat there in the tree for what felt like several hours. He felt his black hair freeze into short stringy bunches and icicles form on his toe-claws. The wind picked up slightly and he shuddered as it hit his skin, involuntarily tucking his wings tighter and wrapping his tail around his ankles. He could freeze to death if he stayed out here too long. Yet he stayed where he was, getting colder and colder; it was better than going home. If you could even call it that. He wrapped his arms around his legs and rested his chin on his knees. He could feel his wings going numb in the cold, and he felt his consciousness going fuzzy. Then, like always, he felt a small ping from his collar; Master was getting impatient. He stood, his whole body shivering as the cold air touched the areas that had been covered. Opening his numb wings, he launched himself, awkwardly catching himself in the air. It had only taken him being late twice before he had learned to fly without feeling. As fast as he could, he made his way the southern end of the valley where the Master would be waiting for him.

The valley dead-ended in a rather large mountain. Halfway up the slope of this mountain, there was a ledge that backed into a cliff-face. It wasn’t somewhere you could get to easily unless you had wings. This was where he landed, slipping into a large crack in the cliff that was hidden by one of the two lone trees that grew on the ledge. The cavern inside the cliff went on and on, and was very poorly lit. It was fortunate, he thought, that he had been born with the ability to see in the dark; the cave never bothered him in that sense. Not that it didn’t bother him.

The glow at the end of the tunnel began to get brighter. Soon he stepped out into a large cavern with a fire in the central hearth. He scuttled across the floor, similar to the way apes moved. He leapt over the fire in the center of the room, avoiding the sides at all costs. The walls were lined with iron cages stacked floor to ceiling. Inside the cages were all types of creatures, large and small, and they were all screaming at him. He was cursed in many different languages, at least 10 that he recognized. Pet, suck-up, kiss-ass and other words meaning the same were the most common. He had long since learned how to keep from reacting; countless years of the same thing are bound to teach you something.

He reached the other side the cavern where an automatic steel door had been installed. Instead of reaching for the spell pad by the door, he bent further down, pulling his wings tightly to his torso, and crawled through a dog-sized iron flap hidden in the shadows. It was a very tight squeeze, with barely any room to move. However, he made it through, as he always did. It helped that he was so skinny.

He ended up in another cavern, smaller than the first, but a lot better lit. The room didn’t appear as though it should be in a cave. The floor was white tile, spotlessly clean, and the walls were also a sterile white. He took two odd crawling strides into the middle of the white, his claws clicking against the tile. He stopped and sat with his tail wrapped around his ankles, waiting. There were two doors; the one in front of him was patchy and made of wood that was splintering. The door on the left almost identical to the one behind him. To the right, the white tiling extended for another five feet before it transitioned softly into thick red carpet, two feet lower than where he was currently. The walls gradually transitioned from white to pink to a light red and finally to a deep scarlet. Red for passion.

In the middle of the red was a round, pillow-top, king-sized bed with more red, a deeper, more orange-red: the sheets, the bedspreads, the pillows, all red. Tassels on the throw-pillows that had been tossed off the bed were gold. A large painting above the head of the bed, placed there to make the owner look more cultured, was also framed in gold.

And in the center of this bed, this sea of red, was the Master, with whomever he had brought here this time. Tonight it seemed to be a blonde with ample curves and bright blue eyes though it was hard to tell with the constant movement. She was human, of course. The Master would never go for anything else. Master hated all races but the humans. Master thought humans were superior to every other species.

He closed his eyes. It was much easier to ignore when he couldn’t see it. He wasn’t allowed to interrupt in any way. He wasn’t allowed to make noise. He was required to sit quietly until acknowledged. Anything else would be punished.

Finally the Master finished. He opened his eyes and looked directly ahead at the door, still waiting. The Master eventually stirred from his embrace of the girl; Master tended to feign interest in a girl this way. He knew there was never any true romance, just Master’s insatiability. Master sat up and leaned back against the carved wooden headboard. Breathing fairly heavily from exertion, Master spoke:

“Ah, so you finally showed up.” The Master sounded a little annoyed with him.

“I had to wash.” His voice was flat and emotionless.

“So you did. How was the water?”

“Cold.”

“And yet you certainly took your time.” The Master seemed smug. Master enjoyed trying to find faults in everything he did.

He turned his blank gaze to the Master, “Yes.” Master’s smugness turned to annoyance. He hadn’t messed up this time.

“Well, fine. Go away now.” Master turned back to the girl, probably to begin another round. Master did like his sport.

He turned back towards the wooden door and opened it and crawled through. He had never been allowed to stand or walk anywhere in the vicinity of the Master, especially not since that one time. Master had never mentioned it again, but he was pretty sure he knew what had happened to the girl who had dared take notice of him. Not that the girls had much chance for that. The room beyond the door was a dimly lit, musty, closet of a room. There were four iron cages that stretched from the damp ceiling to the stone floor. However, the cages were only five feet wide and four feet long. In one of those cells, the third in the row, was a small creature that looked something like a cross between a leopard and a mouse. It was about three feet tall when it stood up and its tail curled about behind it. It greeted him as he crawled into the room.

“So, how was the water, Tich?” He granted the creature a small nod and a blink. Roquefort always called him Tich because it meant “dumb” or “mute” in Roquefort’s native language. He wasn’t mute. He just preferred to remain silent. Vocalizations were not appreciated.

“Cold, was it?” Roquefort didn’t seem to mind that he never spoke. After all, Roquefort talked enough for the both of them, and he never had difficulty understanding the silent language Tich used. Tich then proceeded to crawl into the second cell in the line. He had to curl into a ball so that he would fit inside. Being tall had its disadvantages when it came to fitting in small spaces, but at least most of his height was in his legs. He pulled the door closed and it locked behind him.

“But not cold enough, eh?” Roquefort was at the bars between their cells, looking intently at Tich. It was ritual now, after every winter hunt. Roquefort would always ask the same questions, and Tich would always respond the same.

As he turned away from Roquefort’s questioning yellow eyes, Tich answered, “Never cold enough.” With that, he forced himself to sleep with the skill that he had developed over the years. You had to learn here or you would die.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Adventures on Campus!

I have recently decided that I will begin illustrating my times in class with really stupid people/stupid circumstances. They are starring Suit Man, General Dumbbutt, me, Professor Lady, and Professor Man. So, be waiting for the wonderful new comic of stick people being stupid around my campus.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Questions, Part 2: 2nd Installment

    It was all Nannoc could do to wait until the girl closed the door behind her to collapse onto the bed on top of his pack and the ceremonial sword. He was exhausted in every sense of the word. Today marked the 5th day since he had deserted the People. Three of those five days had been spent doing nothing but running. He spent long hours travelling down streams and through trees to throw off the Hunters and the Raiders that had been sent out after him. He stopped neither to eat nor sleep, pausing only to drink to remain at least semi-hydrated. When he had arrived at this small farmhouse he was at his breaking point. He needed food, rest, and shade, or else he would pass out in the countryside, easy prey for the Hunters.

    The girl had been very hesitant about letting him stay. Probably because he spoke the wrong language at first, or because he was shirtless, or perhaps because of the large sword he had strapped to his back. Whatever the reason, she had eventually relented, and for that he was grateful. She had seemed uneasy and skittish when she first showed him around the house. She had definitely been so whenever he looked at her. He didn’t understand. He didn’t think his actions were that much different than hers.

    And then she had asked him for his name. That had surprised Nannoc at first, but when he thought about it, it made sense. After all, she had to know who was staying in her house. He had known that he would eventually need to give his name to others, but he hadn’t really been prepared for it. He had said the first name that came across his mind: Christopher. He wasn’t entirely sure where that name had come from, though she certainly accepted it as normal.

    Before he knew it, Nannoc was sliding into unconsciousness. The last thought to pass through his head as he embraced the sweet oblivion of sleep was that he had never asked her name.

*        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *

    Elina stirred the soup nervously, running various defenses through her head. She was regretting her decision to let Christopher come into the house. What would her father think? She knew all too well what he would think: that she was an irresponsible and reckless young girl who didn’t deserve to leave the house ever again after this. It had been hard enough persuading him to leave her alone in the house in the first place; he had wanted to take her with him. She had finally managed to convince him otherwise, but this would cost her independence for sure. Still…

    Her thoughts strayed to the state of her guest. When Christopher had shown up at the door, she immediately saw that he was tired. Actually, that was an understatement. He looked worse than her father did after an entire day’s worth of plowing under the sun. The bags under his eyes made it look as though he had been awake for days, and his shirtless chest had been burnt to a bright red crisp. She could tell he was muscular, but he looked like he hadn’t eaten in a long time and he had to have been dehydrated. The more she thought about it, the more she was sure that if she hadn’t let Christopher in, he would have passed out and maybe have died right there on her door step. She was positive that she had done the right thing.

    This confidence Elina had in her decision wavered as she heard the sound of the work horses trotting back to the house. Matais and Leleiatal! She got more and more nervous as she heard her father putting away his equipment and taking care of the horses. She said a quick prayer to the gods, asking for strength to explain herself as well as quickly apologizing for using their names as curses. Then her father, Pharon, walked through the side door into the kitchen from the barn.

    Pharon definitely looked the part of a father and a farmer. He wasn’t particularly tall, but he wasn’t short either, with a build that only comes from plowing large fields by oneself for years. His skin was tanned from long days in the sun, with tan lines where his clothing cut off the sun. It was obvious that Elina got her silky brunette hair and soft brown eyes from her father. His hair was long and kept in control by several knots of twine. The lower half of his face was covered by a neatly trimmed beard; both his hair and his beard were threaded with strands of silver. Pharon had always joked with Elina, saying that every time she was bad, one of his hairs went grey. She would always say that she must have been a terror when she was young, and he would laugh his deep and roaring laugh that made everyone near laugh along. He was also very good at reading Elina’s thoughts.

    Her father had barely walked through the door, when he stopped and asked Elina, “So, what’s going on that you don’t want me to know?” Elina squeaked. Was she really that obvious?

    “Well,” she started, “You see, there was this boy and-“

    Pharon cut her off, “You let a someone in the house while I was gone?”

    “-And he looked tired-“

    Interrupting again, Pharon asked, “And you let him into the house while I wasn’t here?”

    “And he asked if he could stay here and I let him, but only because he looked so exhausted and weak and please don’t be mad at me, Daddy,” she finished quickly and looked down at the ground.

    For a while, Pharon just stood there silently. Elina just kept looking down, drawing tiny circles with her foot. After what felt like forever, he finally said, “You know I’m not happy about this, Elina. I specifically told you not to let anyone, especially a male-anyone, into the house when I’m not home.”

    “I know, but-“ Pharon held up his hand and she stopped.

    “As such, I’m going to assume that you had a really good reason to do so. Am I right?” He looked sternly at her.

    “Yes.”

    “Then I’ll forget about the fact that you disobeyed me for now. I want to meet this mysterious boy-“

    “Christopher. His name is Christopher.” Having her father’s forgiveness gave Elina back some of the courage she had before.

    “Yes, Christopher, and I want to eat. Dinner is ready, right?” He smiled at her.

    Elina smiled back. “Of course it is.” She put the soup pot and the fresh bread on the table while Pharon set it, and went upstairs to wake Christopher for supper.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Bow to the Power of Reddit

So, these guys promised reddit that if they were to reach 3000 likes on Facebook, they would dress up like giraffes and make toilet noises. Here they are doing precisely that: http://youtu.be/bckUbOiUF7w

Jack and Jill Revisited

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.


   “Give it back, that’s mine!”

   “No it isn’t, it’s mine!”

   “Is not!”

   “Is too!”

   “MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!”

   Mother sighed. The twins were at it again. She wasn’t sure what made them do it, but Jack and Jill were constantly at each other’s throats. Perhaps it was that had to spend so much time together, being the same age and all. Or perhaps it was in their genetics to be contrary all the time. Maybe it was that they were as close to being identical as they could be as
fraternal twins. Whatever the reason, it certainly made their house lively and especially loud.

   Jack and Jill came sprinting into the dining room adjacent to the kitchen where Mother was, racing to get there first, because, of course, whoever got there first was obviously right. Obviously. The same went for whoever was loudest, which was why they both began shouting even though Mother was only a few feet away from them.

   “MOTHER! Jack stole my lucky pencil! It was my best one and he took it all for himself! Make him give it back!!” Jill was half yelling, half whining. She had her hands folded and held out in a please-oh-god-reign-fire-from-the-sky-and-smite-my-annoying-twin-brother fashion. She molded her face into and expression of sheer innocence combined with her perfected puppy dog eyes. For being only 11 she was quite a little conniver, but only about petty, unimportant things. Like a mechanical pencil.

   “She’s lying!” Jack yelled, glaring at Jill. Turning back to his mother, he added, “She must have lost her pencil, cuz this one’s mine! I’ve had it in my room since forever and she’s trying to get me trouble!” He put on his version of the angelic face, though he missed heavenly creatures and landed more among the small, helpless children. Either way, he was just as manipulative as his twin sister.

   Mother watched as they bickered back and forth. She wondered how long she should let them go at it. Perhaps it made her a bad mother, but hey, this was better than daytime TV and cooking supper got boring after a while.

   “That’s not true, he’s the liar!”

   “Nuh-uh, she is!”

   “He is!”

   “She is!”

   “MOOOOOOM!” They screamed this last bit in unison.

   “Alright, that’s enough!” Okay, every now and again it would give her a headache. “You know what, I don’t care about the pencil. I’ll buy you another one, alright Jill?” That seemed to appease her. “Now, I need you to go fetch me a bucket of water. I need it to finish the soup for supper.”

   “WHAT?!” Mother was not aware that Jill’s voice could reach those decibels at that pitch. “I did it last time! It’s Jack’s turn!”

   “No, I did it last time. It’s your turn!”

   “Is not!”

   “Is too!”

   “IS NOT!”

   “FINE!” Mother raised her voice so that the twins could hear her over their screeches of indignance.

   “Is too,” Jill whispered under hear breath.

   “You can both go do it! And don’t think I didn’t hear that Jill.” Jill jumped, and then they both opened their mouths as if to protest, but she stopped them, “No buts. I’m not going to argue this one. Now hop to it.”

   Jack and Jill looked at each other annoyedly, and then Jill started to giggle. She then proceeded to hop like a bunny rabbit down the hallway. Jack shook his head, apparently in disgust, but Mother heard him start hopping as well when he was out of her sight. She shook her head. What precocious children she had!

   Jack and Jill raced each other to put on their coats and shoes; they knew what was coming. The last one finished with their outer garments had to carry the bucket up the hill. As it turned out, Jill was just a second slower than Jack, so she begrudgingly picked up the wooden bucket and followed Jack out the backdoor into the yard.

   “Whoever designed and built this farm must have been mentally challenged,” Jack said. “They built the well on the top of the only hill on the entire farm! Sheesh. I’m only eleven and I could have come up with a better plan than that.”

   “Well, dummy, that’s where the water was. Duh!” Jill looked at her brother as though he were the epitome of stupidity.

   “Well, then maybe God was dumb when he made this farm. Why else would he force us to walk up the hill each time we need water?”

   “Awwww, I’m tellllllinnngggg. You insulted God!”

   “No, I was just kidding, don’t tell,” Jack pleaded. Goodness knows what Mother would do if she found out he had insulted God, not to mention what God would do. He gulped. He hadn’t thought of that; it had just come out!

   “What’s in it for me?” Jill asked shrewdly.

   “I’ll let you have to pencil, no questions asked. Just please don’t tell.”

   “Alright, done.” Jack handed her the pencil, which he had placed in his shirt pocket. Jill pocketed the pen in her skirt and said, “Pleasure doing business with you Jack.” He looked relieved. Secretly, she agreed with him, but she would never tell him that.

   They finally got to the large hill near the back of their property. Luckily the farm was rather wide instead of being long, so they weren’t terribly far from the house. Still, it had been a decent walk. After they scrambled up the hill, they were both kind of tired, so they laid down in the shade of the well and pointed out cloud shapes.

   “Ooh, look. There’s a banana,” Jack said, pointing vaguely upwards.

   “I don’t see any banana, but I do see an elephant.”

   “No, see, it’s right there. There’s the curvy part, and there’s the stem.”

   “I still don’t see the banana, only an elephant.”

   “It’s a banana!”

   “Elephant!”

   “Banana!”

   And so on and so forth. After a while, they noticed the sun starting to go down and realized they had better hurry to get the water. Jill refused to stand up, saying she was still too tired from carrying the bucket all the way up the hill, so Jack was forced to be the one to draw the water. He set the bucket Jill had carried next to the well and he started cranking the winch next to him. Ugh, the bucket attached to the crank was incredibly heavy. You wouldn’t think that water weighed that much, but it definitely did. Jack would attest to that.
He finally got the bucket all the way up.

   “Jill, I need your help now.” She didn’t move. “Jilllll!”

   “Alright, fine.” She slowly made her way to standing and ambled her way over, making him hold the bucket still for as long as she could. He glared at her and she smiled back. She knew it was heavy. She grabbed the bucket and pulled it over to the edge.

   “Ugh, why does water have to be so heavy? Why can’t it float?” She managed to get it far enough over and set it on the wall that surrounded the well. Both she and Jack bent over, wheezing for breath. Of course, they were both overreacting, but still, it was fairly hard work. When they decided they had had enough acting, Jack grabbed the empty bucket and Jill tipped the full one from the well so that it emptied into the other. After all, the bucket in the well was larger than the bucket they needed; they hardly ever needed that much water.

   Once they had filled the bucket from the house, Jack dropped the other back down into the well. Jill had set the full bucket on the ground, acting as if she were completely drained of energy. Faker.

   “So, since I did all the work with the water, you should carry the bucket back to the house,” Jack said, trying his best to be fair.

   “No, I don’t think so. I’m too tired to carry it. You should do it,” Jill said lazily.

   “That’s not fair!” Jack was getting indignant. He knew Jill was lazy, but still. She still had to do SOMEthing.

   “Get over yourself.” Jill was feeling much too lazy to do much of anything. She was thinking about staying up here awhile longer, just to keep from having to walk down the hill.

   “Fine. I’m just gonna take this back to the house and tell Mom you didn’t do any work at all. She’s definitely going to side with me this time,” Jack said, as he bent down and grabbed one edge of the bucket.

   “No, don’t! I’ll do it!” Jill leapt to her feet and made a grab for the bucket.

   Jack dodged the grab. “Nope, you’re too tired. I’m going to do it.”

   “No, I’ll do it!” Jill made another grab, and this time she hooked her hands to the side of the bucket. They proceeded to play tug of war with the bucket while shouting back and forth, “I’ll do it!” “No I’ll do it!”

   Finally, Jill didn’t feel like playing this anymore. She was so mad at Jack, she never wanted to see him ever again. “Fine,” she shouted, “Have your stupid bucket, you butt-kisser!” And with that, she gave the bucket a shove as she let go. What happened next was the kind of thing that happens only in the dreams of a small child growing up with older siblings.

   Jack, who had also been pulling on the bucket, was unable to correct for the sudden change. The bucket, full of water, flipped up onto his head, where it emptied its contents. Jack also started falling backwards from the force of the shove and the lack of balance. He took a step or two to try and fix himself when he tripped over a rock. That was the point of no return. He fell backwards onto his head and ending up rolling every helter-skelter down the steep hill.

   Jill was slightly worried about him. After all, that had looked like an awfully nasty fall. However, her laughter overpowered her worry. She couldn’t breathe, her eyes watered, she was bent over double, laughing hysterically. That was, without a doubt, the most hilarious thing she had ever seen. How she wished she had had a video camera!

   Out of control with laughter, Jill started falling forward. Still in hysterics, she couldn’t do anything. She fell on her side and started rolling around. One roll took her too close to the edge and momentum took over. If Jack had been un-dazed enough to think, he should have taken the bucket off of his head. He would have found the picture of Jill rolling down the hill, hair everywhere, skirt flying every which way, and still laughing absolutely unbearable. He would have been in the same condition as Jill, except he was already at the bottom of the hill.

   Jill’s landing at the bottom was a lot softer than Jack’s had been. Perhaps because she had landed on Jack. Jack was still wearing the bucket but was no longer woozy, and Jill had calmed down slightly, partly because her sides hurt. But just one look at each other, Jack with a bucket on his head, soaked through to the skin, and Jill with her hair tangled and leafy, red-faced and teary-eyed, was enough to send them both into hysterics.

   As they sat there, laughing until tears streamed from their eyes, all prior arguments forgotten, Mother looked out the window to see where they had gotten off to. She shook her head at the scene and smiled to herself. Kids.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Best Explanation of the End Harry Potter 7.2 I've ever seen.

The resurrection stone doesn't prevent you from dying, or let you come back from the dead, it just lets you talk to dead people. Harry went into it completely expecting to die, but Dumbledore knew (or suspected) that he would survive, but it was essential that he sacrifice himself.
Why harry survived:
The way a horcrux works is that you split apart your soul (by killing someone, which always damages your soul), and you hide the broken off piece in an object. That way if you ever die, your body will be gone but part of your soul will be safe and you can keep living without a body. Voldemort accidentally made Harry a horcrux on the night he killed Harry's parents.
Ok, so remember how Harry survived as a baby? His mom sacrificed herself for him, and that sacrifice made Voldemort unable to touch him. The curse rebounded instead of killing Harry. That protection remained in his blood, which is why Quirrell turned to dust when he tried to touch harry in the first book/movie. This pissed Voldemort off, so in the fourth one, when he was making his new creepy body, he used Harry's blood. Which, remember, still contains Harry's mom's protection.
That is what the prophecy meant. "Neither can live while the other survives". They are tied to each other because a part of Voldemort's soul is in Harry, and Harry's mother's protection is in Voldemort's blood. As long as Voldemort was alive, Harry could not die, and as long as Harry was alive, Voldemort could not die. But when Harry walked into the forrest and sacrificed himself, he was hit with a killing curse. His soul was safe, because of the blood, but Voldemort killed the part of his soul that was in Harry, making him finally able to be killed.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Justin Bieber's Eulogy (My final for Oral Comm class)

Special Occasion Speech
Dellanie Couture
COMM 1000

I. Intro
A. Attention Getter/WIIFM/Thesis/Preview of Main Points: Welcome, everyone, and thank you for joining us today. We are here to help the Bieber family mourn the death and celebrate the life of their son, Justin. He is survived by his parents, Jeremy Bieber and Patricia Mallette, and his half brother and sister, Jaxon and Jazmyn. The young pop star was killed in a tragic car accident; it feels as though it were much too soon for him to go.

[Transition: However, death is a truth we cannot avoid, and we must go on, as he would have wanted us to. ]

II. Body
A. He was born to his mother, Patricia, when she was only 18, and his parents divorced soon after. Patricia raised her son as a single mom with the help of her parents.

B. When he was young, Justin did say much about wanting to do anything musical. Instead, he was interested in hockey, soccer, and even chess. He got his musical start at a talent show in 2007, when he was merely 12.

i. He sang “Sick” by Ne-Yo, and his mother uploaded the recording to YouTube. His mother then continued uploading videos of Justin singing, and his channel became more and more popular.

ii. In 2008, a marketing executive for So So Def, Scooter Braun, found one of Justin's videos by accident. After much deliberating and praying, Patricia decided to let Justin, then 13, go for it, and that, as they say, was history.

C. However, it's not always easy being a teen idol.

i. Justin had to find time in his schedule for his music, school, and time with his family. He had to deal with crowds of crazed fans and mobs of preteen girls who adored him.

a.) It's hard to be a normal teenager when everyone knows who you are and is obsessed even to the point of a haircut making the news. (pause for giggles)

ii. He's also had to deal with considerable criticism from those who are less than impressed with his singing.

a.) There are many people who are very vocal about not liking Justin, mostly internet posters, specifically from YouTube and 4chan. He's been criticized for looking and sounding a lot younger than he is, as well as the amount of media attention and fan adoration he receives. He also gets made fun of because of the types of songs he likes to sing, namely love songs.

iii. Of course, Justin dealt with the fame, gossip, and criticism with class, like the good- natured person he is...was.

a.) For instance, there was the time he went to the beach with his girlfriend, Selena Gomez. Mistaken for a topless young girl, Justin made the news as the person who flashed everyone on the beach that day. (pause again) He merely laughed along with everyone else instead of getting angry.

b.) He never got angry at his internet critics. “They're just jealous,” he said, on more than one occasion.

[Transition: Yes, Justin was an example of how to be humble and famous at the same time, a lesson in grace itself.]

III. Conclusion
A. Summary of the Main Points: Justin taught us many things, and could have taught us many more. This event is bittersweet; he's in a better place now, but we miss him all the same. His death was unexpected and tragic, but we shouldn't dwell on it, or the sadness will consume us.
B. Clincher: Instead, we should focus on his life and how he lived. He will live on in our memories. Remember, as Thomas Campbell said, “To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.” We will now dismiss you row by row to view the body. Please wait until the ushers call you forward. Thank you.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Questions, Part 2: 1st Intallment

     Elina hummed as she danced about the kitchen preparing dinner, her waist-long brunette hair swinging about her waist. Her father, Pharon, would be home soon and she wanted to make sure that she had a full meal waiting when he arrived. After all, he had been working so hard lately, trying to get the fields all plowed. Her mouth puckered into a frown as she thought. It was getting much more difficult for him, considering his age. She pleaded with him to hire a farmhand, but he wouldn't hear of it. She sighed and went back to her cooking; the least she could do for him was make sure he ate well. Her brown eyes watched the bread as it baked in the brick oven as she stirred the soup. This meal was going to be a good one. She licked off a drop of soup that had landed on her tanned skin and laughed. She should really pay more attention when dealing with hot things!
     She heard a knock at the door. Was her father here already? That couldn't be a good sign. Readying herself for bad news, she went to the door and opened it.
     "Oh!" She gasped in surprise. Instead of her father, as she expected, it was a boy. Elina stepped back, closing the door a little. Her father had always warned her against opening the door while she was home alone. Now she knew what he was talking about. This boy was not from around here.  His deep blue eyes, set into an oval face, watched her every movement, staring. His hair was cut very close to his head, though she could tell it was nearly black. He had very fair skin in the places that weren't burnt bright red from the sun. And that happened to be a very large area of skin as he had no shirt on, weird, and- was that a sword on his back? Around his neck was a turquoise necklace with a metal pendant that had some weird symbol etched on it.
     He said something, pulling her from her study of him. "I'm sorry, what did you say?" She flashed him a smile, hoping that he wasn't one of those men her father was always telling her about. He said something again, but it was completely unintelligible, reaffirming her belief that he definitely wasn't from around here. Why in the world was a random traveler here? They were pretty far from anything. In fact, the nearest town was 10 miles away, at the edge of their land. And the main road went the other way through town, completely bypassing her father's farm. Whatever the reason, she couldn't understand a single word he said.
     "I'm sorry, but I don't understand what you say." She shook her head, showing him that she didn't know what he was saying.
     "Oh, I apologize. I forgot that you wouldn't understand me." Elina paused in the middle of shaking her head. What? She looked at him puzzled.
     "You speak our language too?" He nodded.
     "Shouldn't I? You don't understand mine." He had a point.
     "Alright, that makes sense. It's just that most travelers only know one language: ours or their own. You're the first I've ever seen that knew two."
     He didn't say anything, just continued that blank stare. She wrinkled her brow. He certainly was an odd one. Now he seemed to be waiting for something. What could he be waiting for? Oh. Right.
     "Can I help you?"
     "I need a place to stay for the night." Elina hesitated. He hadn't given her any reason to distrust him, and surely, judging by the looks of his arms and chest, he could have gotten past her into the house whether or not she agreed. Still, her father's warning words were playing in her mind. "Please. I've come a long way and my body is exhausted." He really did look tired. She made up her mind, though it might get her in trouble with her father.
     "Alright, come on in." She led him into the house, mentally beating herself up for not having cleaned it up earlier. "Okay, so, this is the living room, over there's the dining room, and around that corner is the kitchen." He merely watched as she pointed, looking to each room as she gestured. "I'm sure you must be really tired, so I'll show you where you can wash up and then you can sleep until dinner." He looked at her and she felt her face flushing. She then cursed silently at herself for being so silly. She purposefully marched up the stairs and down the hall to the washroom. She showed him the pitcher and the cloths for washing and then took him to their spare room.
     "Now that you know where everything is, you can just stay here until I call you when dinner's ready, okay?" He nodded and unbuckled the sword belt, tossing it on the bed, along with a pack she hadn't seen earlier. Elina then realized she should probably leave so he could wash and so she could finish dinner. As she was walking through the door, she turned and asked, "What's your name?"
     "...Christopher."
     "Okay. It was nice to meet you, Christopher.
     With that, she hopped down the stairs and into the kitchen, reflecting on her strange visitor. She could almost hear her father yelling at her now...

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Questions: 10th Installment

     Lily jerked awake. What a nightmare. She had dreamt that the Initiation Ceremony had happened and Nannoc had...she gulped. Of course that couldn't have happened. Nannoc loved her; he had even said that he would die before he would be the one to kill her. She waved the remaining shreds of the terrifying dream away.
     Slowly moving her stiff body into a sitting position, Lily mused over the fact that she had slept at all. She had spent a good portion of the night worrying over whether or not she had given Nannoc the right answer. And had she? The dream again came to her mind, in particularly the face of indifference on Nannoc's face when he had completed the act. She shook her head violently. That wasn't going to happen. He had been very clear on that point and she was merely being silly. But had she given him the right answer? He had seemed so sure she would say yes, and it would have definitely saved her life. But what kind of life was it if she had to stay down here? She wanted to be able to go above ground, to see her family again. And still, when she had seen how his face had fallen when she had said no, she began to doubt herself.
     Damn it! Now she couldn't let it go. Had she done the right thing? Lily tucked her knees to her chin, trying to think. She really did like him, maybe even love him, but she didn't want to be stuck down in this absolute hell of a place. She wanted to see the sun. Suddenly something hit her: if she had said yes to being with Nannoc, she wouldn't be killed. Instead she would be with him, a valid part of the People. Then no one would care if they left together; they wouldn't see it as betrayal! Was this what he had been trying to tell her when he had come in so excited the other day? It must be! He was right, it would solve all their problems! And she had been so focused on the marriage part that she couldn't see past it to the bigger plan. How could she be so stupid?! She should have said yes! And she was going to. She was going to tell Nannoc that she had changed her mind; she wanted to be his wife so that they could escape together.
     She turned around to where he had fallen last night after they whipped him, excited to tell him the good news. He wasn't there. Lily crawled over to the spot; she was sure he had been right here! She pulled up her hand only to find it slick and red. Horrified she saw that the stone all around this spot was stained dark with blood. Surely Nannoc wasn't dead! They couldn't have just let him die! Could they? His back had been bleeding pretty badly, but he couldn't be dead. He just couldn't! She had to tell him that she had changed her mind, had to tell him that she loved him and wanted to run away with him. The longer she stared at the ground, the surer she became that Nannoc was gone. Tears flooded her eyes and began to roll down her face. She laid her head on her hands and started sobbing.
     A loud noise from the tunnel to the nursery startled her out of her thoughts. She quickly wiped her face; she would not give them the satisfaction of knowing they made her cry. It obviously wasn't Nannoc or there would have been no noise. Sure enough, one of the bodyguards she had seen yesterday came into the room, a look of disgust on his voice, swearing loudly at the rest of the captured Outsiders. He narrowed his eyes when he saw her watching him and stalked quickly across the cavern. He drew a large knife from the sheath and held it over his head. Lily ducked instinctively. He laughed and sliced through the rope that held her to the stake in the ground. Grabbing the end of the rope, he yanked. Lily fell forward, trying to keep her neck from breaking. He laughed again and pulled her to her feet using the back of the collar. Before she had even caught her breath, he yanked the rope, pulling her forward.
     "Move. It's time to go." With that, he started off quickly down the hall. Lily had no choice but to follow him and try to keep up. When she her legs faltered from disuse, she had to jump immediately up; he wasn't stopping for anything and would drag her if she stopped. In this way they proceeded to the main hall.
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     Day began with the People in a frenzy. Today was the Initiation; today Nannoc would become a true member of the People. None were more excited than Elliott. After this, after that stupid girl was gone, Nannoc wouldn't be asking any more stupid questions. Nannoc would see that he, Ellliot, was right all along and would finally be happy. They could go back to how it had been, doing their jobs together as they had before when they were both Children. Of course, they would never be equal. Elliott was obviously chosen before Nannoc for a reason, therefore he was obviously that much more important. Although, Nannoc was much better at skill for hunting than Elliott was. No matter. He was chosen first, nothing to be done about that. He was apparently more important than Nannoc in the Elder's eyes at least.
     Elliott was among the first People to arrive in the main hall. Since this wasn't as formal as the Announcement, the People chose their own seats instead of sitting according to age. He wanted to make sure he had the best spot to watch Nannoc's face as he sacrificed that nasty little witch. He spat at the thought of her; she had undoubtedly poisoned Nannoc's mind with her narrow Outsider views, leading Nannoc to question the authority of the People and the Elder himself. Elliott had been shocked and outraged that Nannoc, perfect citizen in all other accounts, would have the audacity to have even thought those accusations he made. Elliott was sure: he never would have questioned his role if it wasn't for that girl!
      Speak of the devil, here she came, stumbling as one of the Elder's bodyguards pulled her across the room. Elliott laughed as she fell over multiple times. She deserved it. Finally they arrived at the wooden altar where she would be sacrificed. The bodyguard undid the collar around her neck. Now she tried to run, to escape, but her legs were so unused to walking after their months in the nursery that she couldn't even go two strides before she fell, scraping her face on the stone floor. Everyone in the room laughed hysterically; how comical! To think she even had a chance of getting away, even her legs worked. Soon she was tied down to the altar, completely unable to move anything but her head.
     Now the People poured into the room. Someone lit the fire in the middle of the room, smaller than the one they had used yesterday, just beneath the raised area where the altar was. Soon it would be time.
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     Lily was terrified. Somehow, though she had resigned herself to death a while ago, now that it was truly going to happen, she didn't want to die. She struggled against her bonds, to the amusement of the guards standing near her, but they didn't budge. She knew they wouldn't. After all, they had been doing this for centuries. She stopped moving, once again beginning to cry. Nannoc was surely dead and here she was, helpless to do anything, soon to be dead as well. At least they would meet again in the afterlife.
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     The hysteria in the crowd was growing. Rumors were flying across the room. Someone had seen Nannoc already and he had deep wounds across his back, as if he had been whipped. Someone else had heard that there was a commotion down in the nursery the previous night. Another had heard that he had asked the Elder if he could have her for a wife, turning down several of their own girls. Someone had said that Nannoc had died and someone else was going to be the Cutter today. One person said he had asked a Healer to verify the stories, and she wouldn't say anything. Whispers of That must mean it's true and Of course it can't be. He couldn't be that stupid were heard everywhere. Then shouts were heard and the Cutter was brought out.
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     Elliott breathed a sigh of relief. He didn't believe any of the rumors, but the longer it took, the more he doubted. Nannoc's appearance assured him that everything was okay. Except...He wasn't wearing his robe. Instead, he was bare chested. He heard the questioning murmurs in the crowd as they noticed the same thing he did. This wasn't natural. Why wasn't Nannoc adhering to tradition? Then he turned to take the ceremonial sword from the Elder and the congregation gasped collectively.
     His back was covered in blood seeping from gashes that made it look as though he had been whipped harshly. He heard one of the men who had been spreading rumors say, "I told you so!" So, that much was true. What had he done to deserve that? There was absolutely no way the rest of the rumors could be true. But were they? At least one had been true...
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     Her first reaction was joy at the fact that he was still alive. They must have come to heal him some time in the night. But when he turned and Lily saw the cuts from the whips, she thought That's my fault. I did that when I refused his offer. She could do nothing but watch him as he strapped the sword to his wounded back and turned to the altar. He must be in so much pain! But his face never changed. He had gone back to the blank stare that he had used the first day she had seen him.
     Her heat beat faster and faster as he walked slowly up to where she was lying. She took courage in the fact that he had said he wouldn't hurt her, though his face was frightening in it's indifference. The doubts raised by her dream came back. Oh God, he couldn't! He wouldn't! He said so himself! No, he couldn't!! Her eyes widened in fear as he slowly approached the altar, sword in hand.
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     Nannoc watched Lily's face as he drew nearer to the altar. Was that fear? Didn't she believe in the afterlife? Why was she afraid of death? He knew it wasn't death that scared her, but how she was about to die. At his hands. A bitter smile stretched across his face. Afterlife my ass he thought. Sephirin only cares about what we do now, in this life. This is what we have. As he watched her go stiff with terror, the smile left his face. Now I understand why the People think they're better. They don't lay down their lives as if there's no choice. No, they fight to the bitter end. He turned to the bodyguard who was still standing by the altar. The guard understood that his duty here was done and left, but not before giving Nannoc a smug smile, laughing at his pain.
     Pain. If Lily had taught him anything, it was that emotions only brought pain. The way he was before was better. No problems, no heart ache, no gashes in his back, no infuriating questions. Just duty. And that's all there was left now. He stepped up to the altar. He paused a moment before bending down, getting himself close to Lily's ear. He knew that the entirety of the People were leaned forward, aching to catch what he was about to say to her.
     "Nannoc..." Her voice was small, almost a sob. "Nannoc, I'm sorry."
     He put his hand on the back of her head. She closed her eyes, a relieved look on her face. Then he spoke, "I told you I'd get you out any way I could." She turned to him, not understanding at first, then her eyes growing wide. That's right. You understand now. He lifted the heavy sword above his head and then let it drop through the air. With a thud, it hit the wooden altar. Lily was dead.
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     The People cheered, some of the younger ones jumping up and down. Another Child had just become and Adult. Elliott was proud. Now that the girl was dead, Nannoc would be his old self; there was nothing left to worry about. Then, little by little, the crowd fell silent. What was wrong? Elliott glanced back to the altar. Normally the new Adult would be cheering just as much as the crowd was. Nannoc was just standing there, watching the blood drip from the sword still in his hand. Why hadn't he cleaned it? What was wrong with him?
     Momentarily Nannoc woke from his reverie, cleaned the sword, and sheathed it, wincing when it hit his back. Then he stood there, staring at the crowd as the two aides went to collect the blood. After a few minutes of silence, Nannoc started to speak.
     "Disgusting." His voice was thick with contempt. What was he thinking? "The way you all revel in blood and death. It's sickening. Here you are cheering for the murder of a young girl, so similar to us, who's done nothing to you." He spat at them. Elliott could hear angry mutterings from those around him. Was Nannoc trying to get himself killed? Already he had the wounds on his back; any more of this and he'd have another set on top of those.
     The aides finished collecting the blood and handed the jar to Nannoc. The jar was as large as his torso and  he held it, studying the jar. The crowd started to get excited again, thinking that he was going to finish the ceremony. Elliott merely watched. He knew Nannoc better than that. This wasn't over yet. As soon as he finished this though, Nannoc began to speak again.
     "So, you relish the sight of blood, do you?" The People were getting frenzied again. Of course that's what they want; that's what they came here for. What are you going to do, Nannoc? Elliott thought. As if reading his mind, Nannoc glanced over to where Elliott was standing, raising the jar over his head, and said, "Then relish in this!" Elliott suddenly realized what he was about to do and started towards the place where Nannoc was standing. Before he could get there, Nannoc had already smashed the jar down on the fire, spilling the blood and quenching the fire.
     The People screamed and began running into the tunnels, trying to get to the light. Most of them could not see in the dark the way those like Nannoc could. As the stench of burning blood permeated the cave, Elliott heard retching. Yet he kept on his search for Nannoc. Elliott knew Nannoc would be heading towards the exit to the Outside and ran in that direction. He didn't need to see; he knew the tunnels like the back of his hand. Battling the flow of bodies in all different directions, Elliott sprinted to the exit. He knew as he ran that he was too slow, he would never catch Nannoc. Still he ran. This stupid boy whom he used to call "friend" had just screwed everything up. He called the People disgusting. He condemned them for their sacrifices. He had blasphemed against Sephirin and Ophelia. He had to be caught and brought to justice.
     At last Elliott reached the exit to the Outside. He burst into the light, shielding his eyes. He paused and waited for his vision to come back. He peered in every direction, searching for any sign of Nannoc or his trail. He didn't find any. He laughed bitterly. Of course he wouldn't find any trail; this was Nannoc, the one with the best skills as a Hunter the People had ever seen. Elliott pledged, looking off into the woods, that he would find Nannoc and would be the one to show that traitorous bastard what happened when you insulted the People and disobeyed Sephirin. With that, he turned and went back into the cave.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

So..

It's been awhile since I last posted. Been just a little busy. A couple tests just came and went (did a lot better on those than I thought I was going to), last weekend was the first home game of the season, this weekend I went to Newton, then home to watch the Urbandale Marching Invitational, got sick halfway through and went home before seeing any of the bands I particularly wanted to watch. This week is homecoming, and another quiz is just around the corner. So...Sorry to everyone tearing their hair out waiting for the last bit of Questions. Hopefully it will come out soon. Probably next week at the earliest.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Omegle

The other day I was messin' around on Omegle. Somehow I ended up in a conversation with a really cool dude named Chris. We decided that at the end of our conversation, we should at least exchange e-mail addresses so that we could continue talking after I went to movie night at Charlie's dorm room. We've been e-mailing for a few days now. It's been about 27 hours since I responded to his last e-mail. Generally we reply daily. It's kinda sad, but I actually miss the e-mail. I get so excited when I see that I have a new message, only to discover it's spam. Then I feel bummed. So, yeah, new friend is really awesome and I can't wait to talk to him again...If he would just reply...

Sunday, September 11, 2011

I laughed so hard when I read this.

Last night I stayed over at a friend's house. When I woke up to go to the bathroom, I was thoroughly confused when she told me not get lost. As it turns out, during the night I had slept walked to the bathroom but then went downstairs into her parent's room and pulled off their comforter, telling them it was on fire and I was saving them. Her dad peed himself. Her mom said she'd never laughed harder. MLIA

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Questions: 9th Installment

     Morning of the announcement of the Cutter. Nannoc awoke to Aaron and his other roommates beating him in the face with their robes. Apparently he had slept much later than normal and they all had to go as a group. As fast as he could, he got himself ready to go. They then left the room in single-file, Nannoc at the lead, into the line of the other Children outside the room. An Adult came and led their procession into the meeting room where the rest of the Adults were waiting. As the Children entered, everyone in the room cheered as loud as they could. What else could they do? One of these Children was about to join their ranks in the Adult Society.
     The Adult told Nannoc where to stop and slowly the rest of the Children fell into lines, fifteen across, five back. Then the Adult went over to his place while the Children remained standing as they were, facing the place the Elder would appear. Just below that outcropping, the fire was lit, creating odd shadows that danced across the walls with every pop or sizzle. Nannoc looked into the fire as he had just two months prior. This time, gazing deep into the bright flames, he saw something that looked like a boy running...and...next to him was a girl. Nannoc breathed a sigh of relief. He hadn't realized until that point that he was still worried that Lily wasn't going to make the right choice. But this proved it. He needn't worry about anything now. Everything would go as planned.
     Right then, the Elder appeared above them and put his hands up for quiet. The crowd, which had still been cheering until that point, quickly fell silent. The Elder looked at the Adults and said, "Sephirin's People, I know you've been waiting patiently this last few months." He paused as murmurs of assent ran through the crowd. "Therefore, I will not waste any more of your time. The Child to be the Cutter during tomorrow's Initiation Ceremony will be..." Now he looked at the Children until his eyes finally rested on Nannoc's. Then he pointed and Nannoc stepped forward from the line as the Elder shouted, "Nannoc!" Once again the crowd cheered. Nannoc turned toward them, a triumphant smile on his face. How wrong their expectations of tomorrow were. There would be no Cutting. He wouldn't be here that long. Last night he had put all his necessary possessions in a hidden depression in the hall to the Outside. To make them easier to carry, he had wrapped them up in an extra robe that he had found somewhere. He was entirely ready to go, and had been more than ready in a mental sense for quite some time.
     One of the Council came up to him and led him out of the meeting room. Before he left, Nannoc turned around, just to see the jealous expression on Aaron's face. Well, he would be getting what he wanted soon enough. In just a few moments they arrived at the Elder's room. It wasn't impressive in size, but the kinds of things in it were different. Nannoc had never seen anything like them, though he thought he recognized some from Lily's description of things from the Outside. Things like a "bed" instead of the straw mat that the rest of the People had. And there was something that looked like a "candle" for light inside the room. Why did the Elder have these things here? And why didn't he distribute them among the People if they were good enough to keep?
     He didn't have very long to ponder these thoughts. The Elder came in and gestured for the Council member to leave. He then gestured to one of the men who served as guards. One of them went out, and the Elder started to speak again, "So, Nannoc. How do you feel?"
     "Greatly honored, sir." He was careful to please the Elder, since he was about to destroy several centuries of traditions as soon as the guardsman came back.
     "It's a wonderful feeling, isn't it, to know that you are about to become an Adult?"
     "Yes, quite."
     "Are you ready for everything that comes with that?" The Elder was staring at Nannoc intensely. Nannoc felt very uncomfortable under his gaze. It felt as he were a cow and the Elder was inspecting him. And judging by the face, Nannoc wasn't an entirely pleasing cow.
     "What do you mean by that, sir?" He shifted, trying to release himself from the scrutiny of the People's leader.
    "I mean, are you ready to accept your adult responsibilities? Including becoming a Hunter, since you're one of the best I've ever seen at the skills needed. Also including taking care of your two new wives."
     "Yes, sir, I believe I'm ready for that."
     "Well then, let's get those ladies out here so you can choose which ones you want." At that, the guard who had left came back leading a line of 10 girls, two of which Nannoc was supposed to pick for his own. "I'll have them each step forward; you pick the two that you want."
    "Bu-" Nannoc didn't need to go through this; he already knew who he wanted.
    "First is Natalie," the Elder interrupted. One of the girls stepped forward. She was beautiful, yes, and quite tall. Almost as tall as Nannoc. He shook his head; that didn't matter at all.
     Taking it as a signal of his displeasure, the Elder waved Natalie back into the line and called up the next girl, Ariadne. The Elder asked, "Do you pick her?"
     "No, I-" But once more the Elder cut him off and ushered a new girl forth; This was Elaine. Every time he tried to say something, the Elder interrupted. This happened for not only the first three, but with Rhiannon, Moira, Emmeline, Jaqueline, and Lia.
     Nannoc's tries for attention got more adamant each time, to no avail. Finally, after Lia, he resorted to shouting, "SIR!" With that, the Elder paused in naming the next girl.
     "What, Nannoc, gives you the need to interrupt your Elder?" Nannoc shrank back slightly under the intimidation of the Elder, but he had to say what he had to say.
     "I don't want any of these girls. I already had a girl picked out for my wife." The Elder sat back in shock.
     "Well, this is unconventional, but since you are an exemplary Child of the People, I will allow this. Tell me, Nannoc, who is she that you have chosen?"
     "Well...her name is Lily." Nannoc's heart was pounding in his chest. To say he was nervous would have been an extreme understatement. He was shattering centuries of tradition and rules and betraying the People with an Outsider, specifically one set aside for the Cutting. The same Cutting that was initiating him into the Adult society.
     "No one in the People is named...Oh. Nannoc," the Elder leaned down to Nannoc, who had his head down, trying to not make eye contact. "You've been breaking rules now, haven't you? Lily's the name of the millah who is to be Cut tomorrow, isn't it?"
     "Yes, sir, she's the one I pick." He heard a small chorus of indignant and outraged sounds from the ten girls currently in the room. He had meant to tell the Elder before all the girls were brought in. There wasn't any help for that now, so he just had bear their scorn.
     The Elder held up his hand to the girls, and they ceased. He raised one eyebrow and said, "Well, I assume since you've chosen her, she's chosen you, am I right?" Nannoc merely nodded. "Let's test that. If she chooses you, then I give you my express permission to take her as your wife and live out your life with her. If she doesn't choose you, I reserve the right to choose whatever punishment I deem appropriate for your inexcusable behavior and disregard for the rules." Standing up and putting his hand on Nannoc's back, the Elder said, "The ladies that Nannoc has turned down, I want you to come with me. The others can leave. As for the rest of us, we shall head down to the nursery to check see if Lily's affection measures up." With that, he more or less pushed Nannoc out into the hallway with the 8 girls right behind. Lily would undoubtedly say yes. Nannoc knew she would. She had to, or else suffer the consequences. But she would. And Nannoc comforted himself in the fact that, shortly, he and Lily would be free to go about their lives without the People there to oppress them.
*      *      *      *      *      *       *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *       *       *       *      *       *        *
     When they arrived in the nursery, they still had to walk past all the other millah. Nannoc smirked when he heard the wretching noises some of the girls made at the smell. Even the Elder and his guardsman wrinkled their noses. When the millah heard the commotion, for usually there were never this many people in the nursery, they began screaming and moaning to be let out. The girls looked incredibly nervous as Nannoc kept leading them (he had long since relieved himself of the Elder's grip) deeper into the tunnels past these noises. He could understand why, with the pleas for help, but he had long since numbed himself to all of the sounds and smells of the nursery. The Elder seemed to not even hear the screams. Neither did the guardsman. Did the Elder care, or had he too numbed himself? But he hadn't been down here in many, many years, decades perhaps. How had he gotten acclimated to this?
     It didn't matter. All that mattered was that in just a few minutes, Lily and he could leave forever, never to be bothered again. When they finally entered the chamber for the sacrificial Outsiders, Lily was curled up, asleep in the middle of the room. Nannoc paused just inside, waiting for all the others to file in behind him. He then looked to the Elder for a signal as to what he should do next.
     "Go wake her up so that we can talk to her." Nannoc bent down, put his hands on Lily's shoulders, and shook gently to wake her up. She looked greatly confused at first. In hushed whispers, Nannoc explained and her eyes opened wide as she turned to look over his shoulder at the man who had her imprisoned in the first place. Holding her hand, Nannoc refused to turn around when the Elder began to speak.
     "So, Lily, Nannoc here has told me that you two are in love. He has chosen you as his wife over eight girls of the People. Before I let him do something that completely defies my rules, I need to know that his love is returned. As such, I have a simple question for you Lily: Nannoc has chosen you. Do you choose him?"
     Lily turned her eyes back to Nannoc, looking scared. Not of the Elder, but of Nannoc. She pulled her hands out of his and pulled away slightly. He followed her with his eyes. In a small voice, she spoke, "I'm sorry, Nannoc, but I can't." He stared at her, not comprehending. What did she mean "she can't?" Her life depended on it.
     "I'm sorry, what was that Lily? Speak loudly enough that we can all hear you." Nannoc could hear slight amusment in the Elder's voice.
     "I can't. I can't marry Nannoc." Dropping her voice again, she spoke to only Nannoc, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." The slight sobs in her voice didn't change anything. Nannoc's face stiffened. He stood up, oblivious now to everything exept the fact that Lily, his only friend, the one person he opened up to, the one girl he'd ever wanted, turned him down. Not even to save her own life would she marry him. And it wasn't even a real marriage.
     "Well, I suppose that's it then. Nannoc, you know I need to punish you now for breaking all my rules."
     "Yes sir." He faced away from Lily. Her rejection spun its way through him, squelching every good feeling this last two months had brought him.
     "Very well." The Elder turned to the girls who had been waiting impatiently on the side of the room. When Nannoc saw the smug little grins on their faces, he wanted to wring their necks. But what was the use? Lily had denied him. Nothing would change that fact. Nothing would change the inevitable punshiment he would recieve. Nothing would alleviate the feeling that had turned him cold on the inside. He was dead to the outside world. The Elder addressed the girls, "As you can see, Nannoc's choice of an Outsider for his wife didn't work very well. We need a way to remind him that this is always the case. Each of you should get your chance to remind him of this fact. Therefore, his punishment is forty total lashes, five from each of you." The Elder then left, leaving everything else to his guardman.
     Nannoc was stripped of his robe, exposing his bare skin to the cold air of the cave. He was then shoved down to his hands and knees. He didn't resist; nothing mattered now. The guardmans took his whip and gave it to the first of the girls, Natalie. Every single one of the girls of the People had been trained in using a whip so that they would never be useless in a battle. Each time the whip was lashed across Nannoc's back, it had that force and an indignant anger behind it. He knew he should feel it hurt, but it couldn't compare to what he felt inside. He closed his eyes and took his punshiment. He deserved this. It was his fault. He broke all those rules; he should be punished. This must be Sephirin's punishment for going against the rules of his spokesman, the Elder. Each girl had five chances to hurt him as much as possible, and they were planning on it. Each stroke of the whip was strong enough to tear his back apart.
      Forty lashes later, the guardsman took his whip back from Lia, the last girl. He looked disappointed that Nannoc hadn't screamed or cried at all. He then ushered the girls from the nursery, but they each took one last moment to express their scorn: each of them spat on Nannoc. When he was sure they were all gone, Nanoc, lay down on his side. He heard Lily still whispering a pathetic, pitying, "I'm sorry," behind him. He knew his back must be a complete mess of blood and horrific wounds. He almost felt sorry for her. Almost.
     As he lay there in the darkness, the damp stone floor beneath him, he contemplated what was going to happen next. He almost wished he was in Lily's position tomorrow; everything would stop. There would be no more to worry about; nothing more to pain him. It would be over. That's what he could do. When everyone was expecting him to celebrate his victory through Initiation, he would end his own life. How ironic that it would be with the same sword that brought him to Adulthood that he would die. As these thoughts went through his head, tears began falling from his eyes; tears for Lily, tears for himself, tears for the People, tears for the world. Eventually, he fell to unconsciousness despite the pain. Tomorrow would tell all.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Pictures

I've hated getting my picture taken for several years now. I don't like how I look in them, I don't really want that to be the picture that I'm remembered as.

Now I'm kinda forced to take pictures of myself, in a way, because my little buddy from Belize is writing to me. (Her name's Serena. She's 9.) I told her I'd send her pictures of college, and in my mind that translates to what I'm doing now as well. Well, that means taking pictures of me. I'm not exactly looking forward to this, but I need to get pictures with all my new friends here and of me doing different things around campus.

Another reason I need to take pictures of myself is for the Traditions Challenge. It's a sort of contest at UNI to complete as many traditions on the list as you can, but to prove that you did it, you have to be able to produce a picture of you doing it. I'm planning on doing this challenge, if only for the reason that if you complete enough challenges, you get a medallion to wear during gradutation.

So...this is going to mean I need people to take  pictures of me doing things or being with people. Specifically things I can't take pictures of myself, such as performing during marching band. That way you can get me in our awesome uniforms with cowboy hats and capes. Or dancing to the music during the games or holding up our capes when a flag is called. So yeah, I suppose this is permission to take a REASONABLE amount of pictures of me.

Oh, btw, I'm gonna bleach all my hair at some point so that I can dye it all blue. Just so you know.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

LOL

*Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said, "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Dan!, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!*

Christmas/Birthday List

I know people are going to start asking me about what I want for Christmas soon, so I thought I'd get aheaad of the game and keep a running list.

1. Rememdy Drive CD- "Rip Open the Skies"
2. New mp3/iPod- one that isn't possessed
3. Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History by Charles. M. Sevilla
4. Awesome knee socks (only a few pairs)
5. http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2P0lk8/cellfoam.com/
6. http://www.amazon.com/Glow-Dark-Lipstick-Nail-Polish/dp/B001UHWF2I%3FSubscriptionId%3D0DWX0HJVE7AWX9HF4X82%26tag%3Dpricedumper-20%26linkCode%3Dxm2%26camp%3D2025%26creative%3D165953%26creativeASIN%3DB001UHWF2I
7. Just about anything from this site: http://www.shanalogic.com/
8. Any of the PostSecret books
9. "Skydivin'" by Darren Styles (CD)
10. http://magneticmeme.com/products/Rage-Faces-%252d-32-Magnet-Collection.html

That's it so far.

Questions: 8th Installment

     It was the day before the announcement of the Cutter, and Nannoc and Lily's plan to escape was no further along than before. They had pretty much decided it was hopeless, though neither would admit that to the other. Most of the time, Lily was just a hair's breadth away from bursting into sobs. Nannoc tried his best to comfort her, but he truly had given up hope. He knew that he needed to get used to the fact that Lily was going to die, but he couldn't get his mind around it. This girl, Lily, was special to him. She couldn't just die, not so callously, and especially not by his hand. He had begun doing a lousy job on his chores so that maybe he wouldn't get picked as the Cutter so he wouldn't have to kill her.
     Not that he'd be able to kill her even if he were chosen. Nannoc had been trained all his life (roughly 17 years, according to Lily. The People didn't measure how old they were.) to get rid of all emotion, but he knew that once he was up there, facing Lily and having to...He couldn't even think it anymore! He would rather kill himself than deal with that. And if he were chosen, that's what he would do. He would jump into the fire or use the sword to kill himself. According to Lily's explanations, there was a life after this one, and everyone ends up there. So they would just meet again in that place, which had to be better than here. Of course, he didn't tell Lily any of this. If he told her that he was going to kill himself before he killed her, she would probably have a mental breakdown.
    As she lay with in his lap, Nannoc stroked Lily's red hair, deep in thought. In such a short time, merely two months, she had taught him so much. Everything she had taught him had changed him slightly. No, hadn't changed him, had made him realize something he already knew to be true about himself; he had just never explored very far into himself. She brought out the best in him. He decided that he didn't want anyone but her to be his girl. He didn't want to tell her that, seeing as she was probably going to die within the next 48 hours.
     "Nannoc." Lily's voice brought him out of his thoughts.
     "Hmm?"
     "Please be completely honest. Do you think I'm going to get out of this horrid place alive?" He looked anywhere but her eyes.
     "I will help you get out of here in any way I can." He felt a lump rise up in his throat. Damn, why now? Not in front of Lily; he had to think of her and keep her calm.
      "That didn't answer my question." Her voice sounded far away, as if she had already died and was talking to him from the Other Place. No! He shouldn't think of things like that!
     Nannoc opened his mouth to reply, but no words came out. They wouldn't fit over the bump in his throat. Tears threatened to pour out his eyes. He closed them, but that just made it worse.
      "It's okay. I can tell you're just trying to be nice. You think I'm going to die, don't you?" He opened his eyes to look into her own tear-filled eyes. Such a pretty green-brown. Unable to say anything, Nannoc just nodded, and the tears began to fall. "Don't cry, Nannoc. You'll make me start to cry."
     He pulled her up into his arms. "Just know that whatever happens, Lily, I love you. This two months has been worth anything that could happen in the next few days." She said nothing back, but sat in his arms until she finished crying.
*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *    *     *     *     *    *      *
     Later in the day, Nannoc went to the lake to bathe. He liked using it as a place to think because very few people ever seemed to be there. Especially now. Everyone was too busy or excited to waste their time on a bath. There was time enough after the Initiation. Nannoc went through all the facts, hoping there was some chance of escape that he had overlooked. Chances were, that, although he had been doing a terrible job at his chores lately, he would still be chosen as the Cutter. Immediately after being chosen, he would be taken before the Elder to be given the Identity Necklace and to choose his wives from the available women. Nannoc stopped. That was it! The idea that would save Lily's life and bring them both out of this purgatory.
     He ran from the water, taking only a few seconds to shake himself dry, then jumped into his trousers as he headed towards the exit. He was in such a hurry as he put on his robe that he merely shoved his arms into the sleeves, neglecting to close the front or put up the hood. Everyone who saw him in the tunnels either stared at him like he was crazy or looked around for what was chasing him. However, Nannoc didn't have any time to explain; he had to get his idea to Lily so she would know what to expect come tomorrow.
    Lily glanced up when he ran in, looking slightly worried. He probably did look rather frightening, but he put her at ease presently.
     "Lily, I think I've figured out how we can both get out of here alive!" The shocked expression on her face was priceless. He couldn't help but grin.
     "Really? What is it?!" He heard the desperation edged with panic in her voice.
     "Calm down. Calm down."
     She grabbed the edges of his robe and pulled. "Don't tell me to calm down! Just tell me your idea!" She was quite a bit more worked up than the numbed-out version from earlier.
     "As you know, tomorrow is the announcement of the Cutter. Well," he continued, noticing that she was about to interrupt, "Something you probably don't know is that immediately after the Cutter is chosen, he goes before the Elder and gets the Identity Necklace, that shows everyone else that your status as and Adult and your name, and chooses his wives." Lily slowly released the front of his robe, pulling away from him. What was wrong? Surely she understood what he meant now. "Instead of choosing any one of the women from the People, I could choose you. After that we could run away together and no one would even notice. They probably wouldn't even care!" She turned around and put her face in her hands. "Hey, Lily, what's wrong? You should be happy..." Nannoc went over to hug her, but she shoved him away.
     "I can't do it. I can't marry you." Huh? Oh.
     "It doesn't have to be for real. We would know that we weren't really getting married, and that's all that matters. Although, honestly, I wouldn't mind marrying you..." He went to her again, only to get pushed away harder this time.
     "No, you don't understand! It would be marriage, whether you want to believe that or not, that's what it would be. I don't want to marry anyone. I'm too young; I'm only 15! I shouldn't be thinking about marriage yet, I should still be living a care-free life!" Lily was going into hysterics. To Nannoc, this seemed like an extreme overreaction. After all, he had just found a way to save her life; she should be grateful. He found himself getting annoyed by her lack of thanks.
     "You have no other choice but death!" She stopped mid-sentence to look at him. He hoped he didn't look too angry, but enough was enough. "I told you that the marriage would be fake. We don't even believe in 'marriage' in that sense, it's just a male picking out a mate. It's not like what the Outsiders do." Lily dissolved into tears. Damn. He hadn't wanted to make her cry. He only wanted to point out that it was just a tool, though he would always believe in the validity of it. However, he didn't want to make her disagree again; he just wanted to get her out of here in one piece.
     "Nannoc...." Her voice wavered as she spoke. "I can't do it. I just can't. I'm not ready for anything like that. Even though you say it's not a commitment, it would feel like it to me. I can't dishonor something like that, so it's not something I can just do. I...I just can't."
     He stared at her, not understanding. Commitment? Dishonor? He had already told her that this wasn't something binding, though she apparently still saw it as such. His bright mood deflated, he turned around and started to leave. He called over his shoulder as he left, "You'll change your mind tomorrow." In his head he added when your life is on the line. She'll realize that what I'm saying is true: this isn't something binding. Just a necessary action to get out of these wretched caves. She'll see that tomorrow.

1:30am This Morning, as told by my anthropomorphized stomach

     Hello. My name is Alastair Quenten Stomach, but feel free to call me Alastair. I'm here to tell you about my uncomfortable night last night. It was caused by a few guests that I invited over for a quiet dinner party that slowly turned into cacophonic chaos. Let me begin.
     I am a member of a very exclusive neighborhood meant for only the most prestigious men and women. Some of my neighbors are Mr. and Mrs. Eye, quite the beautiful couple, Ms. Mouth, a most elligible bachelorette and rather stunning, if I do say so myself. There are also Mr. Esophagus, Mr. and Mrs. Lung (an Oriental couple), Ms. Pancreas and Mr. Gallbladder (they live together, though they are not married. I do not approve, but who am I to judge others?), and Monsieur Coeur (A rather pompous fellow, as he has not a bit of French in him. His surname is truly Heart.) A long way off, down a very long drive, lives Mr. Brain, who is incredibly intelligent, yet also extremely eccentric.
     Last night, I decided to throw a dinner party. It was high time; quite a while had gone by without one. However, after many of my neighbors declined my invitations, citing highly unlikely reasons, I was forced to resort to outsiders, however uncouth that may be. After all, Ms. Mouth had many a visitor, which she would then send down the street to me. (I live two houses away from her, just on the other side of Mr. Esophagus.) Because of my general lack of knowledge of outsiders, besides those I had met through Ms. Mouth, I decided to ask her who would be the best to invite. I rang her up on the telephone to hear her suggestions.
     "Oh, Mr. Stomach, I have just the perfect people! I have these guests over currently that would be marvelous guests at your party! I was just beginning to worry, for I need to go to bed soon and would have had to send them home. I'll send them over now. Your timing is impeccable as always, Alastair. You're such a darling!"
     Blushing from her praises (After all, the adorations of a young beauty are nothing to dismiss lightly.), I gave the final instructions to my servants, then poured a cup of coffee and waited in the parlor for my guests to arrive. Presently, I heard the doorbell ring. Setting my coffee down to await my quick return, I went to the door where the guests were being led in. My surprise when I saw these guests must have been palpable; this was not at all what I expected of Ms. Mouth. The first guests to enter were what must have been an entire extended family. Their name was Gardetto, and I learned that they were all brothers and sisters and all about the same age. I felt sorry for their poor parents. The second set of guests were a pair of twins, they must have been, for they not only had the same surname but looked alike. It was difficult telling them apart.
     Upon relieving them of their coats, I ushered them all into the parlor. There were quite a few more than I expected, so I instructed a servant to adjust to the current number. Then I sat down to get a better estimation of my guests. The Gardettos were an exceedingly seedy and unkempt bunch, and none of them seemed to be particularly interested in personal hygeine. They all looked rather...greasy, almost to the point of my not wanting them to be on the furniture. I decided to give them the benefit of the doubt, and focused on the twins. Their name was Pepsi. On the outside, they looked much more refined and polished, and certainly they valued their outside appearance. I was much more inclined to enjoy their presence. Until they began speaking. While their outward appearance was overall impressive, I soon learned that it was merely a facade. Their true manner was quite boorish and crass. I was beginning to think that this dinner party was a bad idea. However, that would be a bad show of decorum and hospitality, so I decided to stick it out. Moments later, it was announced that dinner was served.
     If my guests' behavior was less than exemplary before, now it was downright horrid. They seemed not to know any etiquette or have any manners at all. It was a complete free for all, and I was lucky to get any food out of it. The Gardettos piled their plates so full that the food was spilling off! One of them even spilled his wine (a 1996 Chateau Lafite Rothschild Pauillac that I had spent a small fortune on) all over my brand new double-breasted dinner blazer (the one I had ordered specially from Italy). I was beginning to lose my temper. Not only were they messy and rude, but they were also loud. Very loud. They were beginning to shout and scream. (Apparently they were not used to wine, as they all seemed to be completely inebriated.) I developed a rather extreme headache. I told all these impossible guests that they needed to needed to leave my house immediately, but they refused. Then the calls from my neighbors began.
    First was Mr. Esophagus, complaining about the noise. Then Ms. Pancreas and Mr. Gallbladder. Then Monsieur Coeur. Slowly, one by one, my neighbors were calling me, all to tell me to contain my guests jovialness to a dim roar. The last straw was when Mr. Brain called. Apparently even he, down his impossibly long road, could hear the jocularity of my guests. Finally, the police arrived.
     Officer Chuck (His full name was Officer Up Chuck, but he preferred just Chuck.) came to my door. As I opened it, I was nearly sobbing from frustration. This was not the quiet dinner party I had planned! I was so grateful to see Chuck.
     "Everybody quiet down NOW!" He had a rather commanding voice when he tried. This was why he was the police officer. Finally, my guests refrained from screaming. My aching head was immediately grateful. I sat down in the parlor, leaving everything to my very capable friend.
     "My name is Officer Chuck, and it's become apparent that Mr. Stomach doesn't want you here any more. Everybody, out front now!"
     "But we don't want to leave," said one of the Gardetto brothers.
     "Yeah, thish guy hash shome good shtuff *hiccup* here." Apparently one of Pespi twins had drank more than he could handle.
     "So, you've been drinking too? How many of you are truly of age?" All the protests on leaving immediately stopped. "I thought so," Officer Chuck said, "I'm gonna need to see all of your ID's."
     They all reached into their pockets or purses and pulled ID's out of wallets. They seemed extremely reluctant to hand them over to Officer Chuck, and a few even tried resisting, but Chuck had his way eventually. He's extremely persuasive when he wants to be. Once he received all the ID's, he went back out to his car to run them all through the police system.
     As soon as he was out the door, one of the Pepsi twins asked, "Did anyone else give him a fake ID?" At that, every single one of my ex-dinner guests rushed out the back door. To be honest, I didn't care at that point that they had lied to Officer Chuck, I was just relieved that they were gone. It was unfortunate that my headache did not leave as readily as they.
     After roughly 5 minutes, Chuck came back in, wanting to know where they had all gone. I told them that as soon as he had left, they had all run away. "Well, that's too bad. I could've put the lot of them in jail for underage drinking, noise pollution, and trespassing, seeing as you didn't want them here at that point."
     "It's okay, Chuck. Frankly, I'm just glad they've gone."
     "I know what you mean, Alastair." He hitched his pants back up to the appropriate height and said goodbye, understanding that I needed time alone. I thanked him, showed him to the door, and then went upstairs, leaving the clean up to my servants.
     As I changed into my purple silk robe (imported all the way from China), I reflected on this night. Never, ever again would I do something so incredibly imbecilic as to invite anyone other than my upper class neighbors to my house. When I lay down, my headache was finally down. As I drifted off into sleep, I noticed through my window that all my neighbors' lights once again went out. Ms. Mouth's first, then Ms. Pancreas and Mr. Gallbladder, Monsieur Coeur, Mr. Esophagus, then finally, the last one to turn out his light was Mr. Brain. And then the night was quiet and peaceful once more.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Things for College Students...

....Who Are Bored Beyond Belief to do:  (from lotsofjokes.com)

1. Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at a time.

2. Use your MasterCard to pay your Visa and vice-versa.

3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.

4. When someone says "have a nice day", tell them you have other plans.

5. Make a list of things to do that you have already done.

6. Fill out your tax form using Roman Numerals.

7. Leaf through "National Geographic" and draw underwear on the natives.

8. Tattoo "Out to Lunch" on your forehead.

9. Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.

10. Pay your electric bill in pennies.

11. Drive to work in reverse.

12. Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.

13. Tell you boss to "blow it out your mule" and let him figure it out.

14. Polish your car with earwax.

15. Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.

16. Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.

17. Braid the hairs in each nostril.

18. Write a short story using alphabet soup.

19.Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they're in jail.

20. Make up a language and ask people for directions in it.